Fellowship of the SuesChapter One:Elvish Voice-Over, ala Back-story:Once upon a time, a very long way away on a mysterious planet at the farthest side of space, lived lots of interesting creatures... and stuff. On this planet were also quite a few screwed evil guys that were extremely obsessed with jewellery, especially rings. Well anyway, a fellowship was formed to destroy this one really, really bad ring. It consisted of four brave little hobbits, a wise, old wizard, a grumpy dwarf, two men; one was a soon to be king and the other was easily corrupted by want and temptation. And last and most importantly, a damn sexy elf! So these nine guys set out on a journey, mission, quest... thing. They'd grown to be such friends that they felt they could not be separated from each other.Once upon another time, in a galaxy far, far, away, there was this really hot actor who played the young Obi-Wan Kenobi and this other hot actor teenager guy who played the young Anakin Skywalker, and they were both jedis, an order that promoted peace and world-saving or something. One day they defeated an army of bad guys, against all odds (naturally) and all the jedis went out drinking at the “Ye Olde Republic Pub” to celebrate. After their celebratory drinks, their judgement was so thoroughly clouded that Obi-Wan and Anikan decided to for a joyride in their flying machine. While on the joyride, the jedis pressed way too many buttons on the control panel, and sort of “killed” the flying machine! Unbeknownst to them, but knowest to us, they were both transported to another galaxy, and worse yet, it was to someplace “eeevil”.Meanwhile back in the, uh, Star Wars Galaxy the Evil Bad Guys were getting bored with killing the local wildlife. So, they decided to find Obi-Wan and teenager Skywalker. And by means no one shall ever know, they were mysteriously transported to the other galaxy as well.~*~*~The two actor guys landed in a forest and were wandering around close to their ship, when this girl, named Vanessa, appeared out of nowhere and began to run around Obi-Wan, screaming "tushy squeeze!" while squeezing his ass. Obi-Wan just stood there shocked, and teenager Skywalker was so appalled by what this girl had done that he started chasing her. Just when teenager Skywalker thought the force was with him, that is, about to catch Vanessa, the tables turned... Vanessa was running after teenager Skywalker, but still around Obi-Wan. As Vanessa chased teenager Skywalker around the flying machine she began to sing. "All around the mulberry bush the monkey chases the weasel!"Skywalker who was outraged screamed, "I'm not a weasel and you are NOT a monkey! Even if you were I would... *censored*!" Vanessa, who had stopped singing, stood there, mouth open, staring awe. ~*~*~ The fellowship had just left Rivendell and was happily on their way to the Misty Mountains. Finally the journey to destroy that one really, really bad ring had begun! Gandalf led the companions through all the different lands of Middle Earth. At first Aragorn was very annoyed at this, mumbling incoherently about how he should be in charge, he was supposed to be the king after all. But as time went by he realized he wouldn’t really like the job anyway. So naturally he assumed the "second-in-command" position, in the current "willing-to-take-over-should-the-leader-die" status of the mission. Gimli grew grumpier by the day, constantly complaining about not being able to go through Moria and having to go over the freezing cold mountains. Legolas was annoyed at being called the map by the hobbits. They were just jealous they weren’t all-knowing, tragically handsome elves with prefect hair! Merry and Pippin were hungry. Sam was well, cool and Frodo, to make a long story short, he seemed just a little too happy considering where he was going. So all in all, they were a large group of complainers. Oh wait, wait, wait and Boromir was, um, giving Frodo many interesting looks. Anyway they finally got somewhere, a forest…. ~*~*~ Obi-Wan snapped out of his shocked phase and went into the ship. He didn't know what he was looking for so he came back out, and apparently at the wrong time, because Vanessa had jumped up on teenager Skywalker! Her legs were around his waist and her arms were around his neck. "Giddy up my strong little pony!" she screamed, trying not to fall in the mud. Obi-Wan didn't know what else to say or do but-"I need a drink!" The two teenagers looked at him and then at each other, which was only slightly difficult with Vanessa hanging onto Anakin’s back. They both shrugged."Ok!" Anakin and Vanessa exclaimed in unison. They didn’t really care because they were having fun: him giving her a piggy-back-ride and her acting like a retarded queen. A few moments later Obi-Wan came back out of the flying machine to see if anyone could open his tequila bottle. Skywalker tried but to no avail, Vanessa on the other hand, the weakling she was, opened it up like it was a bag-o-peanuts. Obi-Wan tried to get the bottle from her, but she pulled it out of his grasp and poured all the contents in the dirt."Alcohol is bad for you! I saw you in Trainspotting and that wasn't good at all." He looked at her like she was mad."Trainspotting?" The two Jedi’s were more confused than before! "Never mind! Nicole always says alcohol is bad for you! Well not always. Alright she never has... but she might!" Just then a girl stepped up beside Vanessa, who just so happened to be Nicole, shaking her head in disbelief! "How could you? Are you trying to kill yourself?” She stopped before continuing the lecture looking at the teenager Skywalker with her mouth open. "Oh my gawd!" she pointed to him, "He's hot!" "Yeah, I know!" Vanessa agreed. Obi-Wan got up from crying over his spilt Tequila and turned the girls. "Where are we, who are you, and what are we doing here?" The girls looked at the two hot actor guys, then to the flying machine, then the forest surrounding them, and then at each other. "Nicole... can you explain this please?" "Gladly...umm...well...umm." She went on for a minute then looked at Vanessa for help. Vanessa started saying, "um"s and "well"s too. "Umm... well... umm.... Ahhh!" Vanessa screamed, and Nicole quickly joined in as well. The hot actor guys looked at each other and shrugged..."hmm". The girls then tried to magically snap their way out of the forest but that didn’t work."I have an idea, Vanessa! Lets click our heels together and say 'there’s no place like home'!""Ok it worked for Judy Garland, so it might work for us!" The two girls looked at their shoes and said, "There’s no place like home; there’s no place like home; there’s no place like home." Then they looked up. They were still in the forest."Damn non-shiny shoes!" Nicole cried in frustration. "I knew I should have invested in a pair!"
So all in all, they were a large group of complainers.Hahaha. xD"Ok it worked for Judy Garland, so it might work for us!"Haha, love much. ^^;
*reads again for like the 50th time!* hehe. I HEART you two! (dont ask about the "HEART" thing its another candy-crazy-thing.) candy:)
Oh feel free to "heart" away... I too am familiar with the strange movement, if you will. It has taken my soul captive. *ahem**dance dance dance*
OMG! I HEART your icon!! and theres really no need to comment on this cause im talking to you anyway...yeeessss... crazy-candy AWAY! *runs*candy:D
You must know that just because you said there is no need to comment I have to in fact comment. It is the natural order of life, and, other stuff. Apparently my brain is barely literate at the moment... I guess that means it's a good time to go write more of this story. Ah-ha. Toodles.
WOOP! writing-ness! *dances around* End.of.coment.chatting.